


the best you can (is just not enough)

by SailorChibi



Series: west coast avengers [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Baby!Tony, Baby-sitting, Bathing, Bittersweet Ending, Crying, Cuddling, Daddy!Steve, De-aged Bucky, De-aged Steve, Diapers, Hurt/Comfort, I consider it happy, Infantilism, Insecurity, Kid Bucky Barnes, Kid Steve Rogers, Little Headspace, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, Pacifiers, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Self-Esteem Issues, Threesome - M/M/M, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony is insecure, bottles, clint is a little shit, daddy!Bucky, ish, natasha is threatening, non sexual age play, not necessarily in a good way, platonic sleeping together, somewhat open ending, sooooo much comfort, the team does not help, the team is unsupportive, tony breaks down, tony just needs support, tony stark tries really hard, washing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-09 06:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7790257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorChibi/pseuds/SailorChibi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bucky and Steve are de-aged as part of Loki's revenge, naturally it falls to Tony to look after them.</p><p>But how is a baby supposed to look after his daddies?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I was standing at the sink washing dishes one night (a feat when you let them pile up the way I do, let me assure you) and thinking about fic and I realized that you never see age play in a de-age fic. Originally I thought about having Tony be de-aged, but then I flipped it around and this was born. Also a tribute to how ridiculous I think it is that a significant other is _always_ the one (often the only one) who has to look after their partner in de-aged fics, and of course they are just awesome at it.
> 
> Initially I wanted to set this post-Civil War, but for a variety of reasons (notably, I couldn't figure out how to get Sam and Vision out of the way) it's set in some post-Avengers, undetermined world where a lot of stuff never happened.

"You can't be serious. Fury, tell them. I am absolutely the last person alive, never mind in this room, that should be watching over them."

For once in his life, Fury didn't say a word. He just looked incredibly, _deeply_ unimpressed. 

Tony glared at him, trying to hide his mounting panic, before turning back to the rest of the team. "The answer is no."

Coulson sighed the sigh that meant he was reaching the end of his patience and stood up. "Stark, tell me, who else would you elect for the position? Thor has gone after Loki. Natasha and Clint have to remain on standby in case something happens. Bruce is helping to look for a cure, and besides he wouldn't trust himself not to Hulk out and hurt one of them. Aside from all that, you were the first person that got to them so you're basically the only one they trust."

"Besides," Clint added, idly twirling an arrow on the tip of his finger, "they're _your_ boyfriends."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Tony hissed. "Fine, we'll hire a babysitter. There must be a SHIELD agent -"

"No," Coulson interrupted. 

"It's a couple of six-year-olds, Stark, not villains," Clint said. He kicked his feet up on the table and smirked, raising an eyebrow. "What, now that they're six years old instead of six feet tall you have no use for them anymore?"

That stung. Tony went quiet, but only for a few seconds. This was a losing battle, but he was damn well going to fight it until the end. "What about you then? There's no reason why you and Natasha have to be on standby."

"It's a safety issue," Clint replied. "Haven't you ever heard of the buddy system?"

Tony's glare deepened.

"Look, as far as I'm concerned, this discussion is over. Rogers and Barnes are in your care until this either wears off or we figure out how to turn them back. I suggest that you do some reading up on child psychology." Coulson actually cracked a small smile, as though the idea was ludicrous, and Clint snickered.

"This is a bad idea," Tony announced to the room in general, but he could tell that it fell on deaf ears. Coulson had already turned away to talk to Natasha and Clint. Fury got up and walked out of the room, not even bothering to glance in Tony's direction, and Bruce followed.

And that was that.

Tony was officially in charge of his de-aged boyfriends.

When Thor found Loki, Tony was going to _murder_ him.

Muttering under his breath, he stormed out of the room. But he didn't head straight for the medical bay. Instead, he found a quiet, out-of-the-way bathroom and locked the door behind him. He slid down to the ground, put his forehead on his knees, and just breathed until the panic stopped making his heart race so fast that he was left feeling lightheaded.

He couldn't do this. Tony absolutely could not do this. He was the last person who should be doing this. But of course, the rest of the team didn't know the exact reasons behind his reluctance. They all thought he was just being his usual selfish self. And there was no way he could explain it.

If Tony had his way, no other person in the whole universe would ever know that he, Bucky and Steve age played on a regular basis. 

"Hold it together, Stark," he muttered to himself, tapping his fingers on the arc reactor and shutting his eyes. He could do that, couldn't he? He could take care of Bucky and Steve for once, instead of the other way around. It couldn't be _that_ hard. Steve and Bucky even claimed it was enjoyable, though even now, well over six months since they'd first done a scene together, Tony had his doubts about the veracity of that. 

Still, though. Considering everything they did for him on a regular basis, the least Tony could do was try to step up when they needed him the most. He could be the responsible adult for a couple of days or even a week - surely Thor would have tracked Loki down by then?

He resolutely pushed aside any and all thoughts about what would happen if this was irreversible and stood up, washing his hands and splashing cold water on his face. He could do this.

Last Tony had seen, Maria Hill had been the lucky SHIELD agent unsuccessfully trying to wrangle two contrary six-year-olds into submission long enough to let a SHIELD doctor take a look at them. It had only taken a couple of minutes to realize that neither Steve nor Bucky seemed to remember anything about their lives; as far as they were concerned, they'd been plucked right out of their happy homes and plunked down in a foreign world with strangers. 

Needless to say, they weren't taking it well.

"Rogers, if you would just sit down and listen -"

"I don't hav'ta listen to you!"

"No, but you do have to - Barnes, get down!"

"Stevie, look'it me!"

Jesus christ. Tony sped up the pace and ducked into the room just in time to catch Bucky as he did a flying leap off of the filing cabinet. Bucky squeaked in surprise when he found his fall suddenly stopped and went all tense, but Tony didn't really care. He set the kid down and glanced at Hill, who was crouched down in front of Steve. Judging from the smirk on Steve's face, he'd been deliberately trying to distract Hill so that Bucky could have some fun.

Tony could feel the headache setting in already.

"Having fun?" he asked Hill wearily.

Hill shook her head, scowling. "I didn't think it was possible, but they're even worse now than they were before," she informed Tony. "I don't envy you."

"Did everyone just arbitrarily decide that I don't get a say in this?" Tony demanded, scowling. Hill ignored him, turning back to Steve.

"This is Tony. You remember him?"

Steve eyed Tony, but nodded warily.

"Good. He's gonna take care of you for the next little while. Try not to kill them," she added to Tony, making a beeline for the door.

"I'm telling the media SHIELD agents run away from babies!" Tony yelled after her. The only answer he got was a distantly slammed door.

He looked back at the children, swallowing hard. At least they didn't have to worry about Steve being sick. Both of them were younger versions of their current selves, Bucky's tiny metal arm and all. A quick glance at what few tests the doctor had managed to run told him that both kids were in the peak of physical health. That was a small blessing, at least.

"Where's my ma?" Steve asked suddenly.

"What?" Tony said, because holy shit he wasn't prepared for this.

"My ma. Is she at the hospital? Why does Bucky have a metal arm? Why does everything look so weird? How come -"

"Okay," Tony said, holding up both hands to slow the deluge of questions. No one had said a word about this, but he was 100% sure he knew how SHIELD would want it handled.

So he did the exact opposite.

He sat down on the ground, which made him eye level with both of them, and said, "You're not actually little kids. You're superheroes, and a super villain turned you into kids."

Naturally, this was meant with a great deal of skepticism until Tony whipped out his tablet and showed them both some proof. He had JARVIS call up the latest news story about Captain America and the Winter Soldier. The awed look on Steve's face as he gazed at the pictures was adorable. Bucky didn't seem quite so fascinated, instead frowning really hard.

"This says 2016," he said.

"That's right."

"How can that be?"

Tony hesitated. "You're superheroes," he said finally. "That's what superheroes do, right? They live forever."

"Cool," Steve breathed.

Bucky frowned harder. "Does that mean my family is dead?"

"Ah..." Tony was not equipped to deal with this. This was why he didn't have contact with children. "I'm sorry?"

"Wait, you mean my ma is gone?" Steve said. His eyes started to well up. Within minutes, they were both crying. Tony stared at them wildly. There was a familiar, sympathetic burn building up behind his eyes. He blinked rapidly, clamping down on the response.

Now was _not_ the time. 

"It's okay," he croaked, awkwardly offering his arms for a hug, but neither one took him up on it. More than a little panicked, he flicked through the news articles trying to figure out what to say or do. He found himself wishing desperately that this hadn't happened to both of them at the same time. Why couldn't that beam have hit Tony instead? Steve and Bucky were used to taking care of him. Not only that, Bucky in particular adored children. He was always the first one that kids ran to.

Tony, on the other hand, had very little experience with children, mostly because the most time he'd ever spent with a kid, he'd nearly gotten said kid killed. Harley's mom still hadn't forgiven him.

He tried to remember what his daddies did when Tony was little and cranky. Steve was fond of distractions, whether it was a bottle or some cartoons or playing with Steve's paints. Bucky favored the rocking chair and a quiet story time, wrapping Tony up in a blanket and holding him on his lap while Bucky read out loud. It always felt so good to lean against Bucky's strong chest and listen to the sound of his voice. 

Jesus. Tony caught himself before he could drift any further, giving his head a firm shake. It had barely been twenty minutes!

"What's that?"

Tony jumped, having nearly forgotten about the kids. Bucky was standing right in front of him, face tear-streaked, pointing at the tablet. It was a picture of Tony showing off at the recent expo. Peter Parker, one of R&D's newest interns, was standing beside him, and they were showcasing the most recent development in clean living. Part of that meant having a couple of 'bots to help with the demonstration, and that's what had attracted Bucky's attention.

"This? It's a robot."

Bucky frowned and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. "No it's not."

"Yes, it is." Tony locked the tablet and stood up. Steve's method of distractions it was, because this - this he could do. "And I'll prove it."

\---

"Bruce, you gotta help me. They've destroyed three of my projects, You is hiding under one of my benches and won't come out, and JARVIS is so mad at them he won't even talk to me."

It seemed to take Tony's words a few seconds to permeate Bruce's intense concentration. Bruce blinked a couple of times, jotted one more thing down on the pad of paper in front of him (why he insisted on being so old-fashioned when it came to taking notes when he had the best electronics at his fingertips, Tony would never know), and then turned to face Tony. He was wearing goggles, which he pushed up onto his forehead.

"What?"

"Help. Me. They're monsters."

"They're kids," Bruce said, eyebrows drawing together. 

"Supersoldier kids," Tony corrected. "Do you know what it's like to deal with two kids who barely need any sleep? They slept for an _hour_ yesterday, Bruce. One hour. I literally had enough time to take a shower by myself. I didn't even make it to my bed."

"One hour over the span of two full days? That can't be healthy. You should encourage them to go to bed earlier."

Tony stared at him. "Are you even listening to me?"

Bruce sighed and grabbed the mug of cold tea sitting beside him. "I'm sorry, Tony. But I don't know what to say. If they're as much of a menace as you say, I really shouldn't be around them. I'd love to think that the Hulk would recognize them, but the truth is I have no idea. And I do not want to be the one to explain to Fury that the Hulk broke Captain America, do you?"

"Sir," JARVIS said before Tony could answer. He sounded as frosty as an A.I. could. "Dummy is requesting your aid."

"Son of a bitch," Tony muttered, sprinting out of the room.

Watching Tony go, for the first time in his life, Bruce was kind of glad he had the Hulk.

\---

See, the thing was, Steve and Bucky weren't little monsters all the time. They could actually be very sweet. Steve in particular seemed to have developed quite a fondness for Natasha; he went pink whenever she was in the room, and he'd shyly presented her with a hand drawn picture of Black Widow on their first morning in the tower. Tony had never seen Natasha's face soften to that degree, though he could've done without the threatening glare she tossed his way immediately after.

They were just... kids. And kids who had grown up during the Depression, at that, as evidenced by how quickly Tony caught them trying to squirrel away food. He looked at Bucky's guilty face and then handful of pumpkin seeds the kid was clutching in two fists and sighed. 

"I don't care if you hide food, but at least try to make it sanitary," he said, walking over to the cupboards. He could just imagine the shit fit the cleaning service would pitch if they had to deal with seeds all over the place. And there was no doubt in Tony's mind that the seeds _would_ get everywhere; kids just seemed to possess that special gift.

He took out two boxes of crackers and held them out to Bucky. "Does that seem like a fair trade to you?"

Bucky frowned, eyes darting from the crackers to Tony, before he opened his hands. Pumpkin seeds rained down on the ground. Bucky grabbed the crackers and fled.

Tony stared down at the mess on the floor. "I feel like I should have seen that coming."

\---

"I want my ma!"

Natasha winced a little at the volume of the yell and increased her pace. She was just in time to see Steve retching into a pail. From the sounds of it, Bucky was doing the same thing in the bathroom. Tony was crouched down beside Steve, looking exhausted, as he rubbed at Steve's back.

The rest of the bedroom was filthy. Crackers, cookies, chips, bread, fruit, pop-tarts, cereal - basically anything that could be carried away from the kitchen had found its way into the bedroom that the boys were sharing. If they'd eaten even a fraction of it, she was not surprised that both of them were throwing up. She was, however, both surprised and disappointed that Tony hadn't done a better job of monitoring them to make sure this didn't happen. She put on her best disapproving scowl and folded her arms.

When Tony glanced up a couple minutes later and spotted her in the doorway, he winced.

"Help me," he mouthed.

Natasha scowled deeper and shook her head, backing out of the room before Steve could spot her. Later, when both boys were asleep in Tony's bed, she returned to the room where Tony was half-heartedly trying to clean up some of the mess. She didn't hesitate, swiftly backing him into the corner.

"What is the matter with you?" she demanded. "Didn't it occur to you that they might overeat? They've never seen so much food before."

"I can't watch them all the time!" Tony protested.

"That's a pretty flimsy excuse, Stark. I know you value your time in the workshop, but it wouldn't kill you to take a week out of your busy schedule to show you care about Steve and Bucky. Especially after all they've done for you. You better start paying more attention to those kids. After all, they both happen to be two of my best friends when they grow up." 

She lingered for a moment, eyes narrowed, to make sure he got the message before she stalked away.

\---

"Tony?"

The whisper woke Tony so quickly that, for a moment, he thought he'd imagined it. He was running on about three hours of sleep out of five days, and getting to the point where JARVIS's genuine concern was overriding the A.I.'s frustration. He had just managed to fall asleep after convincing Bucky and Steve to go to sleep, and yet -

He pushed himself up, the arc reactor illuminating the room to reveal Steve. "Steve? What's wrong?"

"I had a weird dream," Steve said, obviously struggling not to cry. "I - I dreamt about a plane crash, and then there was cold water over my head and I cried and cried but I couldn't get free." Fat tears started to roll down his cheeks.

Jesus. Tony had heard Steve talk about the crash before, but it was a lot harder to hear it from a six-year-old. "C'mere, little guy." He pushed the covers aside and opened his arms. Steve all but flew across the room and onto the bed, clambering into Tony's lap.

Tony stayed up with him most of the night, consoling him, because every time Steve started to fall asleep he'd jerk himself back awake and cry again. Just as the first light of dawn started to spill through the window, Steve finally fell asleep. Tony looked down at his blond head, wondering what this meant. They'd established that neither Bucky nor Steve remembered anything, but Steve was beginning to. Was the spell starting to wear off?

Impossible to tell, but maybe now Tony could - 

Across the room, the door nudged open and Bucky poked his head in.

Or not.

\---

"Clint, seriously. You need to talk to him."

"Nope."

If Tony hadn't been strung out from lack of sleep, he never would've grabbed Clint's arm and shoved him up against the wall. That was a good way to get an arrow to the guts. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and Tony had passed the point of desperation six days ago.

"That six-year-old is having nightmares about being brainwashed," he hissed in Clint's face. "You're the only one who knows what it's like. Would you just fucking talk to him?"

"First of all, I have enough of my own nightmares. Second of all, the situations were completely different," Clint shot back. He squirmed out of the hold with ease. "Natasha told me you were trying to dump the kids on her, too."

"I'm not trying to dump them! I'm just asking for a little -"

The door slammed shut.

"- support," Tony finished to the empty room, dropping his aching head into his hands. He understood that Clint was terrified, and that he had PTSD, and that talking about Loki was often enough to give him a panic attack. But on the other hand, Tony had spent the last two nights dealing with hysterical children. And it didn't look like he was going to get a reprieve anytime soon.

\---

It all came to a head on the seventh day. Tony stumbled into the kitchen in search of coffee, only to find that Coulson, Clint and Natasha were already there. He could feel their stares on his back as he zeroed in on the coffee machine, but honestly Tony didn't care anymore. He was past the point of being exhausted; he was two seconds away from sitting down on the floor and having a full on meltdown. It was not uncommon for him to slip into his little headspace when he was hurt or sick, and - even though technically he wasn't injured or ill - he was struggling to keep from slipping now.

Bucky and Steve needed him. That was the mantra playing through his mind that kept him going.

"Where are the kids?" Natasha asked, breaking the silence.

"Sleeping," Tony said shortly, pouring himself a cup of coffee. His hands were trembling, but miraculously he didn't spill anything.

"Are you sure about that?"

Tony turned around. "What exactly are you trying to imply?"

"She's not implying anything. Based on what I've heard over this past week, you should be ashamed of yourself, Stark. I always knew you were a selfish person, but I think this is a brand new low," said Coulson. He was wearing his deeply disappointed face, which - while not as good as the Captain America face, was pretty damn close and made Tony's insides curdle.

"I wasn't being selfish," he protested weakly. "I -"

"Tried to push the kids off on one of us at every available moment?" Clint drawled. "Whined constantly about having to actually step up for once in your life? Hid in your workshop whenever you could? Ignored the people you're supposed to love when they needed you the most? Stop me when I'm wrong. Oh, wait, you can't because I'm not."

"That's not -"

"Whatever, man. I am just really curious to see how Steve and Bucky will react when they're back to normal. Cause I gotta tell you, if I had a boyfriend who'd acted the way that you did if this had happened to me, I would dump your ass so fast when I was back to normal..." Clint shook his head. "Unfortunately, Steve's a bleeding heart. He won't break up with you." The unspoken 'even though they should' hung in the air.

Tony couldn't bring himself to speak. He'd always been accused of being a selfish person; that had been thrown in his face by multiple people throughout his whole life. He'd said as much to Steve and Bucky when this relationship began, but both of them had waved off his concerns. But maybe the rest of the team was right. Maybe Tony's best just wasn't good enough. Maybe he was selfish, and Steve and Bucky should break up with him - but Clint was right, Bucky might see reason, but Steve wouldn't. Steve would be the determined fool who'd overlook everything in favor of making it work.

"The good news is, Thor returned with Loki so you won't have to inconvenience yourself anymore," said Coulson. 

Natasha stood up. "You better hope they don't remember any of this," she said, walking out of the room. Coulson and Clint followed.

Tony just stood there, numb to the core. He didn't follow them. Honestly, he didn't want to. 

Because they were right. They were all right. Tony had loathed every minute of the past week. His temper and patience had been tested more times than he could count. He hadn't slept for more than seven or eight hours during the whole week, and he literally could not remember the last time he'd eaten or spent more than five minutes alone. There were so many times when he just wanted to sit down on the floor and cry, or worse start screaming at Bucky and Steve until they settled down. Those weren't the actions of someone who was a caring partner.

"JARVIS," he said hollowly.

"Sir?"

"Prepare a suit. I'm going to the Malibu house for a while. If anyone asks, don't tell them where I am."

"Yes sir."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm blown away by the reaction to this fic. Holy smokes! There was a lot of concern in the comments about the bittersweet ending tag, so I hope you all see where I'm heading with this chapter.

"Steve. Steve, wake up."

It wasn't unusual for Steve to wake up to a male voice calling his name. He did share his bed with two other men on a regular basis, after all. But it was unusual for that voice to belong to Bruce. And he could safely say that Bruce had never been the one to wake him up after he had, apparently, spent the whole week as a child. 

"Are you shitting me?" Bucky said bluntly, eyeing Clint with outright suspicion. "Is this some kind of weird, lame ass joke?"

"Scout's honor," Clint said.

"You were never a scout," Bruce said without looking up from where he was running a few tests. He finished listening to Steve's heart and straightened up, letting the stethoscope drop to his chest. "As far as I can tell, you two are back to normal. I'll run a couple of additional blood tests, but unless something unusual pops up... it's like it never happened."

"That is often how Loki's tricks play out," said Thor. He was hovering in the doorway, a concerned frown on his face. "Once again, I apologize."

"It's fine, Thor," Steve sighed. It really wasn't, but Thor already resembled a kicked puppy. There was no point in scolding him or complaining about Loki, because it would only serve to upset Thor even more. And really, it wasn't going to change anything. 

"No, it's not," Bucky muttered. Steve elbowed him.

"Will we ever remember what happened?" he asked the room at large.

"Probably not." Bruce said, sounding somewhat apologetic. "Loki's magic removed your memories when you guys were turned into kids. You didn't remember any of us. So it stands to reason that the same thing would've happened in reverse."

Steve frowned, exchanging a look with Bucky, both of them thinking the same thing. If they’d spent a whole week as children who didn't even know who Tony was, then it was very strange for Tony not to be there when Loki begrudgingly turned them back to normal. Actually, no, scratch that. It wasn't strange, it was downright alarming.

Bucky asked the obvious. "Where's Tony?"

"Probably hiding in the workshop," Clint said with a derisive laugh.

"Why is that funny?" Bucky said.

"Let's just say that Stark is not built to be a caretaker," said Coulson, giving Clint a warning look. "I'm sure JARVIS would provide you both with some footage if you really want to know. I suggest that, in the interests of your relationship, you don't, but that's your decision. In the meantime, I'm heading over to SHIELD to fill in the Director. And Clint, I'm pretty sure you had some paperwork left to finish in regards to the last battle."

"Aw man," Clint whined, but he gave in without much of a fuss, following Coulson out the door. Bruce left the room once he'd drawn a vial of blood from each Bucky and Steve, Thor right behind him. Only Natasha lingered, and Bucky gave her a hard look.

"What aren't you saying?"

Natasha shrugged. "It's not my place. I just highly recommend you watch the footage. It might make you re-think certain decisions that you've made." She sauntered out.

As soon as the door had closed behind her, Steve said, "I have a very bad feeling about this."

"You're not the only one," Bucky said grimly. "JARVIS, where is Tony?"

"I'm not at liberty to say," JARVIS answered.

"Is he in the mansion?"

"No."

Damn. Tony had fled. Steve's bad feeling was getting worse by the minute. The team was acting strange and Tony wasn't there. What the hell had happened? Had the kid versions of him and Bucky not liked Tony? Had they done something to him? Or maybe something else had happened, something worse.

"We need to see that footage," he said, and Bucky nodded in agreement. 

Later, Steve would sit down and watch the whole week. For now, and for the sake of expediency, he asked JARVIS to show them the most important clips. JARVIS readily agreed, switching on the television set. The very first thing that Steve saw was the meeting in SHIELD during which all responsible had been dumped on Tony's shoulders. His stomach sank straight through the floor, as that footage was rapidly followed by a miniature version of himself chasing Dummy around the workshop while Tony tried to convince a miniature version of Bucky to take off the repulsor glove he had stolen.

Amazingly, it all went downhill from there.

Steve was appalled. If his mother could've seen how he'd acted, she wouldn't have hesitated to take him over her knee and give him a resounding spanking to set him straight. 

But the worst part was Tony. 

After well over three years of being teammates and six months of a serious relationship, Steve knew Tony well enough to know when Tony was on the verge of a breakdown. What he didn't know was the rest of the team could've ignored the signs. The dark circles under Tony's eyes, the way his hands visibly trembled, the fake smile he plastered on his face - it was all so fucking _obvious_. 

Then there was the part that the rest of the team wouldn't know about. Like the time when kid Bucky and kid Steve were sitting on Tony's bed, crying hysterically after nightmares, and Tony just sat there and looked so lost. His eyes went glassy for just a second, like he was ready to cry himself, before he visibly hauled the reaction back in and set to work comforting the two children.

"Jesus," Bucky said under his breath, grabbing Steve's arm so tightly that it hurt. "He's on the edge."

"I think he passed the edge a long time ago," Steve said, fighting to keep his voice even. That was nearly impossible when, on the video, Tony had succeeded in coaxing the kids back to sleep. He then slipped into the bathroom, sat down on the toilet, and spent several minutes rocking back and forth with his thumb in his mouth, fingers worrying at the hem of the shirt he was wearing - Bucky's shirt.

Or at least Steve thought that was the worst part. 

"I am going to kill them." Bucky sounded so even, so calm.

Steve wanted to say that Bucky couldn't do that, but the words wouldn't come out. He was literally speechless as one by one, JARVIS showed them the team turning down Tony's pleas for help. Not a single person stepped up to give Tony even a few minutes of support. And even worse, when Tony was at the breaking point, they rubbed it in his face. The expression on Tony's face after Natasha, Clint and Coulson left the kitchen was unbearable.

JARVIS let the footage play just long enough for them to hear that Tony was going to Malibu before he cut it off. In the wake of the silence, he said quietly, "I have control of the suit at the moment. Sir has passed out inside of it. I will see him safely to the house. I estimate that he will sleep for at least ten hours. I strongly recommend that you be there when he wakes up."

"Oh, don't worry, we will be," Steve said, torn between rage at the rest of the team and fear. Fear that Tony had internalized every ugly word that had been thrown at him this week. Fear that maybe this time, Tony had been pushed too far.

Coulson and Clint had left for SHIELD, so Steve used the time before they returned to take a hot shower. It was not the restful experience that it usually was. His mind was plagued by thoughts of their missing lover and how damn hard Tony had worked this week. Caring for children was about as far out of Tony's comfort zone as it got. He was touched that Tony had tried so hard, and infuriated that anyone could have made light of those attempts.

He got out of the shower, dried and dressed in the span of ten minutes. He found Bucky sitting on the edge of Tony's bed - their bed, as the three of them regularly shared it when they were all the same age mentally and, apparently, physically. 

"I packed a diaper bag," Bucky said without looking up. He had Tony's favorite stuffed toy in his lap: a plush, white wolf with one grey eye and one blue eye. 

"Good. We'll leave as soon as we talk to the team," Steve said. The Malibu house was already stocked with supplies, but like any baby, little Tony had his favorites when it came to toys, pacifiers and books. Those things regularly traveled back and forth with them. 

Steve wasn't even sure if Tony would be able to let himself go that much this week. It might require a hell of a lot of coaxing on their part. For all Steve knew, this might have set them all back to the very beginning of their relationship, when Tony was convinced that wanting to age play was both selfish and shameful. It had taken a long time to get Tony comfortable with it and make him understand that it was something Bucky and Steve enjoyed just as much as Tony did.

If all that had been destroyed in the span of one week, he might just step aside and let the Winter Soldier come out after all.

“Agent Coulson and Agent Barton have returned,” JARVIS announced.

“Excellent. Gather them all in the living room.”

Natasha was already in the living room, watching television. Her eyebrows rose when Steve and Bucky walked in, and she sat up in protest when JARVIS switched the television off. Bucky said something sharp to her in a language Steve was unfamiliar with; she frowned, but remained quiet. One by one, Clint, Bruce, Thor and Coulson entered the room. Steve didn’t say a word, just crossed his arms over his chest and waited for them all to sit.

“What’s up, Cap?” Clint said, sprawling on the couch beside Natasha with his head in her lap.

“I thought we were a team,” Steve said quietly. “It’s come to my attention that that assumption was wrong.”

“You should cut Stark a little slack –” Coulson began.

“ _Tony_ is not the problem. Tony is the one person on this team, with the possible exception of Thor, who actually stepped up this week.” Steve was working hard to keep his tone level, but anger was seeping in. “JARVIS showed us everything. Did any of you, even once, actually take him seriously when he said he needed help?”

“He was just whining,” Clint protested.

“Oh really? It was just whining when he told you that two six-year-olds were having nightmares that grown adults aren’t equipped to handle?” Steve said. It was too weird to associate the kids with him and Bucky. “Or when he as good as told you, Natasha, that he didn’t know how to handle their issues with food? Or how about when he told you, Bruce, that the kids had slept for one hour in the span of two days and that Tony hadn’t slept at all? Both of those conversations sure sounded like a serious request for help to me.”

Bruce flinched. Natasha’s eyes flashed. “We all agreed that Tony should be the one to –”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” Bucky said, very quietly. Steve glanced at him. Bucky’s face had gone still and cold in a familiar way. “ _You_ agreed that Tony should look after us. Tony didn’t. He stepped up as best he could because you didn't give him the option, but I have to wonder if any of you would have done any better.”

“He was sleep deprived. We’re super soldiers; we hardly ever sleep. All of you know that," Steve said. " Any one of you could have helped at any time. Not to mention, we were two kids out of time in an unfamiliar world with people we didn’t know. Didn’t it occur to any of you that maybe you shouldn’t have dumped this on one person? And then _blamed_ him when things went wrong?”

He held up a hand when Coulson went to speak. “Don’t. Bruce, I can understand your fears about the Hulk, but that doesn’t let you off the hook. I am extremely disappointed in you for not even trying. But you three.” He turned a withering glare on Natasha, Clint and Coulson. “You were blatantly hiding under the excuse that SHIELD might need you. Did it? Did you have even one mission this whole week?”

“No,” Coulson admitted reluctantly, when it became obvious that Natasha and Clint weren’t going to speak.

“No,” Steve repeated. “You didn’t. All of you know how much trouble Tony has when it comes to asking for help. It’s taken years for him to get even a little bit comfortable with doing it. Yet when he asked, all of you turned him away. You made him think he was failing. You made him think that Bucky and I were going to dump him because of that!”

“What?” Bruce said, his head snapping up. “You did _what_?”

“My relationship with Tony is not a poor decision,” Bucky said to Natasha. His tone was biting. “It’s my relationship, my decision, and I don’t appreciate you trying to meddle with it.”

“He’s not good for you,” Natasha said, meeting Bucky's gaze without flinching.

“That’s completely wrong, but it’s also not your choice.”

“How could you do that?” Bruce said to Clint. “What’s wrong with you?”

Clint was looking increasingly uncomfortable. “I didn’t –”

“You told him he was selfish. You said you would dump him if you were us,” Steve said. “Clint, you would be fucking _lucky_ to have someone like Tony in your life. And if that’s how you would treat him, I can understand why you don’t.”

He turned to Coulson. “And you are supposed to be our handler, not the one causing more dissent. You should’ve seen how much Tony was struggling. Or maybe you didn’t care because it was Tony, and you wanted an excuse to yell at him, I don’t know, but I expected better of you.”

“Captain –”

“I don’t want to hear it, Coulson. Bucky and I are going to find Tony and spend some time with him. Away from the rest of you. JARVIS will let us know if we’re needed, but otherwise we don’t want to hear from you.” Steve unclenched his fists with effort. “This is not over. When we come back, you had all best be ready to apologize to Tony or don’t be here.”

He stormed out of the room, his anger getting the best of him. He’d thought the team was past this; Steve had come a long way from thinking that Tony Stark was just an egotistical, self-absorbed playboy, but apparently the rest of the team hadn’t. He remembered the anguished look on Tony’s face when Clint said that Bucky and Steve should break up with Tony and set his jaw, fresh fury pounding through him.

Bucky and Thor caught up to him in the quinjet hanger. “Steve, I wish to apologize again for my brother’s actions,” Thor said quietly as Bucky went to ready the quinjet. “Had I known what was happening, I would’ve brought him back more quickly.”

“It’s not your fault, Thor. I’m sure you looked as hard and as fast as you could,” Steve replied, trying to smile. He couldn’t. He wasn’t sure how he felt about any of the team now, Thor included. The past week had changed everything, and he really wouldn't know what would happen in the future until he and Bucky had the chance to talk to Tony.

Thor didn’t look convinced. He clapped Steve on the shoulder. “Please extend my apologies to our missing comrade, and tell him that –” For once, Thor faltered. He shook his head sorrowfully. “Just tell him that I look forward to seeing him when you are all ready to return.”

“I will.” Steve nodded and hurried into the plane. Bucky was already at the controls. As soon as Thor had backed away, the side of the Tower rolled open. The jet shot forward, thrusters engaging as soon as they hit the air, and within moments they were stabilized.

It took them about five hours to get there. Most of that time was spent in silence. For his part, Steve retreated to the back of the plane and had JARVIS show him a little more footage. The A.I. was plainly furious with the rest of the team, sharing Steve's own feelings on the matter. Steve had the strong suspicion that the rest of the team was in for a very difficult few weeks, as JARVIS was the one who actually ran the tower.

And Steve was wholeheartedly supportive of whatever punishment JARVIS chose to enact. His anger grew as he watched Tony’s attempts to deal with a situation where he was very plainly out of his depth. He might have done alright with two normal children, but supersoldiers were a different story. Tony was just plain outmatched - anyone would have it been - even if it was just bcause it was pretty hard to argue with a kid who could break your arm no problem.

Not that it had come to that, thank god. When push came to shove, Tony knew when to back down. Steve cringed as he watched Tony looking on helplessly as kid Steve and kid Bucky tore the guest bedroom apart. It was very clear that Tony had no clue how he was supposed to punish the kids; his own childhood would have provided very little to go on, and when they age played Tony was so busy craving affection that the thought of acting out didn’t even occur to him.

“If Ma could see you now…” Steve muttered to himself, shaking his head ruefully. Before this had happened, he and Bucky and Tony were supposed to have a few days to themselves just because the team had been so busy lately. All of them had full lives, to the point where whole days could go by without any of them seeing each other for more than a couple of minutes.

They’d had a date planned at Tony’s favorite restaurant, followed by a walk through Central Park and then the movies, because Bucky was a sucker for films. Then Steve thought they’d walk back to the Tower and indulge in an uninterrupted night for the three of them. He, personally, had planned to pin both Bucky and Tony down and have his filthy way with them. The next two days would’ve been pure relaxation behind closed doors. 

Now there was this to deal with. Steve scowled at his tablet and finally shut the footage off, not wanting to watch the lonely sight of Tony grabbing a few precious minutes of sleep alone in their bed. He startled when a metal hand took the tablet from him, and then Bucky’s warmth settled across his thighs.

“Stop torturing yourself punk,” Bucky ordered.

“I can’t help it. We did that to him, Buck. It was us.”

“It was not us. We’re completely different people now. That was two kids who died a long time ago. Tony knows that.”

“Does he know that we still care?” Steve asked bitterly, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s waist. “Or does he think that we think the same as the rest of the team?”

Bucky had no answer for that, mostly because they both knew the answer was a resounding yes.

“I just want our little boy,” Steve admitted. “I know we have so much to talk about with Tony, and we have to yell at the team more, and discuss whether or not we even want to be a team anymore, but right now I just – I really, really want to pick our baby up and cuddle him for a while.

“Me too,” Bucky said, running his fingers through Steve’s hair. “It’ll be okay, Stevie. He’ll be with us soon. He’s been on the brink of dropping all week. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s in that headspace already. Just a little while longer, and we'll be with him.” He was trying to sound hopeful and upbeat, but was unable to mask the fear they were both feeling. Steve just nodded and held him a little tighter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Solnishka = little sun

Bucky’s prediction about Tony having dropped into his headspace already wasn’t entirely true, but it was pretty damn close. By the time Bucky expertly landed the plane at Tony’s Malibu home, Steve was desperate to get to Tony. He practically ripped the door off the jet in his haste, sprinting down the steps and into the house. As always, the house looked like no one lived there. If it weren’t for JARVIS's quiet direction, they might have missed the huddled ball on the third floor living room couch entirely.

Tony woke up the second Steve’s foot hit the carpet, eyes snapping open as he lunged upward. Had there been a weapon nearby, he would have grabbed it. His eyes were wild and glassy, but he recognized Steve quickly. Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to settle him. He scrambled off the couch and backed up, tensing even more when Bucky showed up next to Steve.

“JARVIS, I told you not to tell anyone where I was going,” Tony said sharply.

“Why?” Bucky asked. “You tryin’ to make Steve go grey?”

Tony just shook his head, refusing to rise to the bait. “You shouldn’t be here. I’m not –”

“Let me stop you right there.” Bucky strode forwards, ignoring the way that Tony shrank back, until he was close enough to set his hands on Tony’s shoulders. “Steve and I know what happened. JARVIS showed us the footage. And if you think that we’re not going to come comfort our lover after the week he’s been through –”

“You should be comforting yourselves,” Tony said, trying to squirm free. 

Steve stepped up behind him, bracketing him in, hands resting on Bucky’s hips. “Tony, you need to listen to us, not the rest of the team. Do you remember what I said to you way back when we first got together?”

Tony exhaled and shuddered. “No.”

“Liar,” Steve murmured affectionately. “I told you that this is our relationship, and the opinions of other people don’t matter. If I love you, and Bucky loves you, and you love us, and we love each other, then there’s no reason why we shouldn’t be together. What Clint or Natasha think doesn’t matter.” He ducked his head, nose brushing the crown of Tony’s head. “Besides that, both of them were completely wrong.”

“But I couldn’t – I didn’t…” Tony trailed off. He was shaking. Steve had seen him like this a handful of times before, so wound up that he was over stimulated, too many thoughts chasing their way through his brain and preventing him from articulating things the way he wanted to. It was never a good sign.

“Shh,” Bucky whispered, pressing a kiss to Tony’s forehead. “You did good, doll. You stuck it out and did your best. Screw people who say that isn’t good enough. Isn’t that what you always tell me?”

“I called you monsters.”

“We were monsters,” said Steve, wincing.

“No. I was being sel –”

“Don’t finish that sentence, Tones.” Bucky finally closed the distance between him and Tony, pulling Tony into a hug. With Bucky at his front and Steve at his back, Tony’s legs gave out, letting Steve and Bucky support the entirety of his weight. 

“You weren’t being selfish,” Steve whispered. “You stepped up. You took care of us. That means a lot to both of us.” He slipped his hand onto Tony’s belly for better stability, feeling the thin shivers wracking Tony’s body as Tony fought back sobs.

“Now it’s our turn, okay? We can talk this out later.” Bucky coaxed Tony’s head up, expression twisting into worry at whatever he saw there. “Just let go, sweetheart. We’re right here. We got you. It’s been a long hard week, but you’re here and we’re here and everything is okay, I promise.”

Tony whimpered, just once, a quiet sound that Steve barely caught, and then he fell apart. He started to sob, trembling harder as well over a week’s worth of pain and frustration poured out. His head dropped forward against Bucky’s collarbone. Bucky caught him up, dropping his metal hand to cup Tony’s bottom to better support his weight as Tony’s knees hooked around his hips.

Bucky’s face, when he looked back at Steve, was full of anguish. Steve knew his own face was a perfect reflection. It was horrifying to see Tony like this, but at the same time Steve was just so goddamn grateful that Tony hadn’t slammed his shields up and hidden away. If Tony had been a little less exhausted… a little further away from his headspace… if Bucky and Steve had been a little slower in getting here…

“I’m gonna take him into the bedroom. Steve?”

Steve blinked and nodded, reaching out a shaky hand to pet Tony’s hair. “I’ll grab the bag and make up a bottle,” he said hoarsely, because he knew without having to ask that it had been a while since Tony had eaten or consumed anything but caffeine. An actual meal would be a lot better, but when Tony was this run down there was no point in even attempting anything beyond a bottle.

It hurt to watch Bucky carry Tony away, especially when Tony cried out, “Daddy!” and started to cry again, one hand reaching out for Steve, but Steve steeled himself against the urge to run after them. He grabbed the diaper bag from where Bucky had dropped it beside the front door and went into the kitchen, grateful that someone – JARVIS, maybe – always made sure that the house was stocked with necessities. 

Including, he saw when he opened the refrigerator, some of the meal replacement shakes that Tony could often be coaxed into eating. He grabbed a strawberry one, twisted it open and dumped it into a bottle. He added milk until the bottle was full, gave it a good shake, and ran hot water over the bottom until it was a decent temperature. 

When he went in search of his boyfriends, he found that the bedroom was empty. But the bathroom lights were on, and the water was running. Steve poked his head into the room and watched as Bucky lowered Tony into the half-full tub. Tony whined, uncomfortable as he always was with water, and clung to Bucky's shoulders, forcing Bucky to kneel beside him.

Except for the size of the tub – and tub, if Steve was being honest, wasn't really an accurate word; it was more like a jacuzzi or even a small swimming pool, easily large enough to accommodate three adult men - this was a scene similar to what Steve remembered watching on the plane. Tony had been given the unpleasant task of bathing kid Steve and kid Bucky, who had never seen showers or tubs like the tower had to offer, never mind the gallons of hot water. 

Needless to say, Tony had ended up completely soaked more than once.

"It's alright, Solnishka," Bucky murmured, stroking Tony's hair. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." He glanced up as Steve stepped into the room.

"Bath time?" Steve asked, setting the bottle and the diaper bag down.

Bucky wrinkled his nose. "I don't even want to guess how long it's been."

Steve hadn't noticed, but Tony had to smell pretty strong to garner that reaction from Bucky. He lifted an arm and sniffed at his own pits, realizing that a bath wouldn't be the worst idea in the world. And it would go a long way towards calming Tony down. He grabbed the hem of his shirt, hauling it over his head. His jeans and boxers hit the floor. For once, he left them where they were instead of taking the time to fold them and walked towards the tub.

As soon as Tony noticed him stepping over the side, he reached a hand out towards Steve. The bright blue pacifier in his mouth stopped him from speaking, but the pleading look in his tear-filled eyes spoke volumes. Steve sank down into the water immediately, reaching out to bring Tony onto his lap. Tony curled up with a soft little sob, winding his arms around Steve's neck and clinging to him.

Freed, Bucky quickly stripped his own clothing off and brought the bottle with him into the bath. He scooted up next to Steve, tugging at Tony's feet until Tony was spread across both their laps. Steve wrapped his free arm around Bucky's shoulders and quietly watched as Bucky coaxed Tony into showing them his face, and then into accepting the bottle instead of his pacifier. It was no easy task, but Bucky's patience was legendary.

"There's our good boy," Steve said softly, smiling. Tony just blinked slowly, long lashes dark against his cheeks. He drank the bottle with a surprising appetite; when he was finished, Steve lifted him up and gently patted his back until he burped. Then he melted against Steve, like he was ready to go to sleep right then and there, but someone still needed a bath.

Normally this would be the time when they'd play, mostly because Steve made it a point to try and help Tony to associate good memories with water. But Tony was way too sleepy for that. He leaned back against Steve, heavily lidded eyes following Bucky's every movement as Bucky washed him. He didn't even try to grab for one of the rubber ducks that still lined the tub from the last time Tony'd had a bath.

There would be time for that, though. Tomorrow, maybe, after Tony had slept more. A lot more. Steve eyed him critically, taking in the deep, puffy circles under Tony's eyes. He did not look good. This was way worse than a three or four day long engineering binge; at least at the end of that, Tony was flushed with success. Right now, it was the exact opposite. Underneath the exhaustion, there was still that terrible edge of fear, like Tony thought that they might suddenly disappear.

No way that was happening, Steve thought, hugging him a little closer. Bucky set the washcloth aside when he saw that and slid closer, setting a knee on the seat to lean in and kiss Steve. Then he dropped another kiss onto Tony's damp hair.

"I'll wash quickly," he said into Steve's ear. "Then you can. We'll double-team him into an early bedtime."

It was a tactic they often used, though it was hardly necessary this time. Steve nodded regardless. He cuddled Tony as Bucky scrubbed himself down, then reluctantly passed the baby over to Bucky. Tony whined, tears welling up in his eyes, until he was curled up comfortably on Bucky’s lap. 

“I’m not going anywhere, baby boy,” Steve told him. “I’m just gonna wash up, and then we’re all gonna get out and go to bed together.”

“Doesn’t that sound fun?” Bucky said, pressing a kiss to the side of Tony’s head. He lowered his voice and kept talking, Russian words tumbling together into a soothing cadence that slowly made Tony relax. Steve kept an eye on him as he washed, not liking how clingy Tony was being. It was unusual, even for their cuddly baby.

He climbed out first, not wanting to disturb Tony until they had to, and dried himself off with a towel, pulling on a warm bathrobe. Bucky kept Tony occupied while Steve ducked into the bedroom and laid out a changing mat, diaper, powder and cream on the bed. Then he returned to the bathroom, just in time to catch the start of Tony’s shivers as the water grew cold.

“C’mon, sweetheart.” Steve stepped forward as Bucky lifted Tony up, wrapping a towel around Tony’s shoulders and then taking him into his arms. Tony clung to him as Steve carried him back into the bedroom, setting him down on the bed.

“Papa?” Tony whimpered, staring at the door to the bathroom in fear. Because of the way the bed was angled, they couldn’t see Bucky.

“I’m right here.” Bucky popped into the room, still drying his hair. “Let Daddy get you ready for bed.”

“Want Papa,” Tony said, a fresh wave of tears flowing down his cheeks.

Bucky and Steve exchanged concerned looks, but Bucky obediently moved over to the bed, spread the towel out and sat. He leaned over, still damp hair hanging over his face. Tony reached up, fingers on a direct course for Bucky’s hair; he _adored_ Bucky’s hair when he was in his little headspace, forever playing with the strands and even chewing on them if Bucky wasn’t careful. 

“You’re okay, Solnishka,” Bucky murmured, cupping Tony’s hand and gentling the baby’s grip. 

While Tony was otherwise preoccupied, Steve lifted his lower half and slipped a diaper under his bottom. He made sure that Tony was dry, rubbed a little cream between his thighs where his skin was most sensitive, and sprinkled on a little baby powder. Then he pulled the diaper up, smoothing down the straps. 

Getting Tony dressed was always an issue, but this time Steve had a secret weapon. Instead of one of Tony’s onesies, he slipped off the bed and grabbed an old sweatshirt of his – or maybe it had been Bucky’s, they’d owned it for so long that Steve couldn’t really remember. Point was, the cotton was worn and soft from so many washings and it smelled like both of them. 

Tony wiggled happily as Steve dropped the soft blue fabric over his head. It was big on Steve (so maybe it had been Bucky’s to start with, because Steve usually wore clothing that fit as opposed to Bucky, who liked clothing that was at least a size too big) and swamped Tony, falling around his thighs and threatening to slip off one shoulder. The sleeves hung over his hands, but that didn’t stop Tony from grabbing for Bucky’s hair again.

Bucky just chuckled, catching Tony’s hand and kissing the fingers. “I think Daddy and Papa should get dressed first, and then we’ll cuddle in bed.”

“No,” Tony said.

“No? You don’t want us to get dressed?” Bucky said, raising his eyebrows. “Why not?”

“Hot.”

“Hot?” Bucky repeated, glancing at Steve curiously.

Steve shrugged. It wasn’t until Tony whimpered and opened his arms, begging for a hug, that Steve understood. He had to laugh. “I think he means that you and I get too hot and roll away. If we’re cold, we’ll snuggle up with this cuddle monster here.” He tickled one of Tony’s feet, prompting a tiny smile but none of the giggles he’d been hoping for.

“You’re too smart for us, kiddo,” Bucky said with a smile. “I’ll go grab us some food. You cuddle with Daddy, okay?”

“No,” Tony whined, even as Steve joined him. He grabbed onto Steve but stretched one hand plaintively after Bucky. 

“Aww, baby boy,” Steve said, heart arching at Tony’s reluctance to let either one of them out of sight. He sat up, rummaging through the nightstand until he found a pacifier. Tony accepted it unwillingly, giving it a couple of unhappy sucks. Steve shushed him as he pulled Tony up the bed and under the covers.

“Papa will be right back. He just ran to the kitchen. It’s okay,” he whispered, the reassurances falling on deaf ears. Tony started to cry.

“Hey now, what’s all those tears for?” Bucky said as he re-entered the bedroom. The bananas and granola bars would only tide him and Steve over for so long, but it was more than enough for now. He tossed a banana at Steve and slid under the covers, wrapping an arm around Tony who latched on with another sob.

It took a long time for Tony to settle down; he clutched at both of them every time they moved and refused to eat, even though he loved bananas. Steve shot a helpless look at Bucky, not sure what else they could do to reassure Tony that they weren’t going to leave him. Those ugly words had joined the ones already in Tony’s head, feeding off of the fears that Tony struggled with on a daily basis – that he wasn’t good enough, could never do enough, would never be enough.

“Go to sleep,” Steve said finally, rubbing the baby’s back. This wasn’t something that would be solved with one conversation or even endless reassurances. Tony was too caught up in a mental break right now, one that had been building for the better part of a week. He had to unwind and calm down before anything they were saying would sink in, and a good long sleep would be the best starting point.

Tony shook his head, looking up at Steve with mournful eyes.

“Yes. You need to sleep, baby.” He refused to allow himself to be swayed by those beautiful eyes, knowing that this was in Tony’s best interests no matter how much the baby fussed.

“Daddy and I are going to sleep too,” Bucky added, finishing off another granola bar. He tossed the wrapper into the garbage and rolled over, draping his flesh arm across Tony’s midsection and resting his hand on Steve’s hip. That left Tony completely ensconced in them, so wrapped up he could barely breathe.

Steve groped around under the covers until he came up with Tony’s wolf. Tony grabbed onto the toy, tucking it into the crook of his arm. His right hand found its way into Bucky’s hair, while his left hand had a grip on Steve’s wrist. Finally, comfortably assured that neither one of his daddies would be able to leave without Tony knowing, he turned his forehead to Steve’s collarbone and shut his eyes.

Hardly daring to breathe in case he unsettled Tony, Steve kept rubbing his back until he felt Tony finally relax into sleep. He sighed then, looking at Bucky. “I hate them. I really hate them right now. All of them.”

“You and me both,” Bucky whispered back.

“I think we should stay here for a little while, Buck. Tony has a workshop. He can do everything here that he could in New York. If they desperately need us you and I will go, but Tony needs a break.”

Bucky nodded as best he could. “Won’t hear any complaints from me. I could use a few weeks without seeing Natasha.” 

That was definitely something Bucky needed to talk about, but now wasn’t the time. Steve slid his free hand down and over the hand on his hip, squeezing Bucky’s hand tightly. Not for the first time, he wished that he did remember the past week. It would be a hell of a lot easier to talk to Tony if they did. 

Then again, it wasn’t the actions of their kid selves that had been so cutting. It was the words and reactions of the team – their friends. That pain, Steve could understand perfectly.

He curled in a little closer to Tony and closed his eyes. Their sleep wasn’t the most peaceful: Tony had a series of nightmares, and it was disturbing to realize that, while a couple were about Steve and Bucky leaving, most of the nightmares were about something horrible happening and kid Bucky and kid Steve ending up dead because of Tony's actions. Steve and Bucky alternated soothing Tony back to sleep as best they could.

As dawn approached, Steve slipped out of bed and brought his fussy, crying baby with him. Miraculously, Bucky had slept straight through the latest nightmare. Steve changed Tony’s diaper and then carried him out into the living room, where there was a rocking chair in front of the windows that looked out over the ocean. He sat, Tony curled up in his lap, and together they watched the waves while Tony calmed down.

That was where Bucky found them three hours later. He approached quietly, dropping a hand onto the back of Steve’s neck, and leaned down to nuzzle at Tony’s sleep-warm cheek. “Hey, you.”

“Papa,” Tony whispered around his thumb.

“Room for one more?”

“Always,” Steve said, making room for Bucky to squeeze in. It was a little cramped with the three of them crammed into one chair, but he didn’t care – especially because there was a genuine smile on Tony’s face for the first time since they’d come to find him. As far as Steve was concerned, at that moment there was nowhere else he’d rather be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize this is an open ending. I'd like to return to this verse someday and write a follow-up story concerning the fall out (east coast and west coast Avengers, anyone?). I'm not sure when that will be, so feel free to subscribe to the verse if you'd like notification of when the follow-up story is posted.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [tumblr](http://tsuki-chibi.tumblr.com/).


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